In dreams you lose your heartaches

I am worried the only time I will ever go to Disney is when I’m a parent and then my husband’s going to have to explain to my kids why I’m crying when I meet Aladdin.

It’s four thirty in the morning, and I’ve been working past this awful cough that decided to linger after a four day battle with an ear infection and a two day battle with a sinus infection. I’m attempting sleep, which lasted a whopping three hours, but then I got up to get some kool-aid, and damnit all if my thoughts did not follow me into a semi-slumber consciousness. And now I can’t sleep. For the first time in my life, since I have been dating, have all of my ex boyfriends been the reason to keep me up at the same time. I’m not including flings, or relationships where the title of “boyfriend” was forbidden or never used, because by God would that list go on, but I’m talking about legit, actual dating boyfriends, even those that lasted very little. So, to all of my ex-boyfriends, here’s what I’ve learned from you.

• From Josh, my first, and for the longest my best, I’ve learned that falling in love comes when you least expect it, like out on a hot and sticky tennis court, or in a theatre room where no one is around. I learned that I am my best when I am smiling, and that support can come from anyone, even if I think I’ve lost them forever.
• From David, my second, I learned that being crazy, being hyper, and being silly are what make me who I am, and if people don’t like it, then I don’t need them in my life.
• From Jonathan, my third, I learned that quiet meditation and exercise with my boyfriend can bring us together in a less-but-more physical kind of way, and that I’m not too bad at sword fights.
• From Matthew (John), my fourth, I learned that some things do take age to get accustomed to, and that sometimes childhood memories make a great foundation for any relationship that was once lost.
• From Casey, I learned that weight is actually a vital factor in relationships and that men worry about their appearance, too.
• From Zak I learned that sometimes being jealous gets the person you want, only to realize you never wanted them at all.
• From Devin I learned that the best relationships are like being best friends and a couple and that honesty really is the golden rule.
• From Caseigh, I learned that a relationship, no matter how badly you want it, can not be built on lies, nor can lying about the physical damage be good for the couple.
• From Mat, I learned to take a bit of pride in my partner, and to make sure they are always welcome, regardless of who I am with.
• From Necco, I learned to appreciate what and who I have in my life, and that music and kissing are two things that make me swoon.
• From Caleb, I learned that one person sometimes needs the other person to pull themselves out of their rut, even if it leaves the other person at the bottom while they climb to the top.
• From Thomas…I guess I learned to get what I deserve.

Seeing them bulleted out makes the list seem not as long. But if I had thrown in little flings or hook ups, it would go on a lot longer. Each person we encounter, whether we want to believe it or not, teaches us a valuable lesson in our lives. We just have to look for them.

Thanks for staying up with me.

It’s now five a.m.

I’m going to bed before work.

While heavily medicated, I had a dream involving a boarding school, 1920s style washrooms, a real life Mako and Bolin, and a war against ghosts. And the Doctor was there… And I was in a relationship with Bolin.

It was all kinds of fandoms fucking with my brain because Moriarty swooped in and took me to a parking garage to give me the Titan car from Teen Titans.

My medicated dreams terrify me.

BACK TO HAVE MORE

moistaco:

OMG WHO REMEMBERS THAT EPISODE OF PHIL OF THE FUTURE WHEN HIS DAD GETS PULLED OVER AND THE OFFICER ASKS HIM IF HE’S BEEN DRINKING AND DRIVING AND HE GOES, “I’VE BEEN DOING NOTHING BUT!” AND TAKES A SIP OF HIS GIANT ASS SODA?

I THINK OF THIS EVERY TIME I HAVE A DARK BOTTLE AND AM DRINKING AND DRIVING, EVEN IF I AM A PASSANGER, I’M LIKE “HOLY GOD, I HOPE THEY DON’T ASK ME IF I AM DRINKING AND DRIVING, IT’S JUST A SODA, DON’T BE A MR. DIFFY.”

hecklocki:

cumberbatchstumblerbitch:

reichenbaker:

Just a reminder that the Ponds are leaving, John still thinks Sherlock committed suicide, and Benedict didn’t win the BAFTA.

I’m not crying, there’s BBC in my eye.

(via things-could-be-better)

Jake, sweetie, I don’t have a wizard inside of me.

Me at the start of Episode 3: This man thinks he’s like Dead Poet’s Society or something.

Jeff three minutes later: He thinks it’s Dead Poet’s Society! No tests, no papers, he made me take off my shoes.

Me: HOLY FUCK I WAS RIGHT.

(Source: honestliars, via ashleydisney-1dlv)

I do not believe cutters cut for attention. I do believe Willard says he cuts for attention. I do not believe it is right to fake something that many people do out of deep, dark, and scary emotions just for the sake of attention. I do believe that exploiting cutting as a way to gain followers is sick, and probably more upsetting than the act of self-harm. I do not believe that an internet post that reaches “X AMOUNT OF LIKES OR REBLOGS” will get a person to stop something that they are now habitually doing (like cutting, smoking, drinking, gambling or engaging in the act of internet porn addictions) because it’s just a number on a computer screen and not the actual help they need and deserve. I do believe a person should be ready to seek out their own therapy, but if necessary, be taken in with the aide of someone that loves them.

I do not believe Willard is a good guy.

I do believe we should stop reblogging his shit.